Friday, May 13, 2011

Cereal Nazi!

Well, we’ve had quite the week with 3 different doctor’s appointments.  Two were for the gestational diabeetus and the other was just our normal monthly visit to see our OB doc.  Speaking of which, we’re now at the stage where we need to go see him every two weeks instead of the every month schedule that we had before.  All the more evidence that she’ll soon be here!  Also on that note, our doc updated our due date back to July 12th now.  So mark yer calendar!

The doctor’s appointments went well.  The first was with a dietician who went over Malia’s food intake and blood sugar levels for the past couple of weeks.  She is doing really well!  The dietician was pretty surprised to see that Malia had been getting away with eating some of the stuff that she had been.  The second one with the diabeetus nurse was not as fun.  She kept harping on Malia about how eating cereal was “probably the worst thing you could be eating right now…”  Blah blah, whatever.  Her blood sugar is doing just fine eating that cereal, so I don’t see what the big deal is.  All I could think about as the nurse blathered on about how bad cereal is was of the Soup Nazi from Seinfeld.   “No Cereal for you!”

No, not this Extreme

Now, I’m not saying that she hasn’t made some poor choices in food…  She’s been trying to drink more water but, you know….water is BORING.  So, to make it a little more interesting we got some of those Crystal Light mixers.  Well, we neglected to read the label very carefully because we actually bought the “Energy” kind which has as much caffeine in it as, oh I don’t know: a friggin’ Monster Energy Drink.  Crystal Light….it’s EXTREME!   Seriously, this crap had more caffeine in it than a goddamn Red Bull…WTF?

Well, Malia had to find this out the hard way by drinking a boatload of the stuff before realizing what it was.  By then, it was too late…the damage had been done.  Keep in mind that she has been a saint and kicked the caffeine monkey cold turkey as soon as she found out she was preggers and hasn’t really touched the stuff since.  Well, she just accidentally dosed her and little Syd pretty good.  She had the caffeine shakes and everything. 

The most interesting part came later that evening when all of that jittery goodness made its way down to Sydney…  That kid went. Freaking. Nuts.  I swear, you could see her doing somersaults in there.  She must’ve been doing cartwheels or something…it was crazy.  We could even make out her outline on Malia’s belly, like she was trying to kick her way out and take on the world!  Now I’m worried that we’ve created some little crackhead baby addict; our own little Tyrone.  I’m sure that I’m going to catch her one of these days snorting Pixie Sticks in her closet.  If you don’t know what Pixie Sticks are, it’s basically the kid equivalent of doing Heroine…so, suffice it to say that it’s really, really bad.  I’ve always joked with Malia that this was our “starter” kid.  She’s going to be messed up…for sure.  We’ll have another one and maybe do it right from all the messed up stuff that have done to her.  If it’s a boy, maybe we’ll name him Mulligan.

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